Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Bunheads: The Astronaut and the Ballerina

Previously, Blondey's mom got a divorce and her dad is remarrying, and Melanie has roller derby type tendencies.

Bunhead Studio opens with "Jordan" aka another SYTYCD alum telling the class they killed a very important ballet person with their horrible dancing, and then demonstrates how it should be done, thus fulfilling the contract of being on the show.  Sutton comes in to check on the computer, and behind her are ballerina's in a corner. 

Jordan continues harassing the class for not being a SYTYCD winner like he was, when Sutton makes him take a break and they yell while Boo answers a call from her mom, gets in trouble, and Sutton goes to rescue the other ballerina's he has locked in a closet somewhere.

Melanie is at ROLLER DERBY!  I'm so excited.  You know we have that here in Vegas, right?  CHECK THEM OUT.  They are awesome.  She's been watching the Derby Dolls for 2 days, and she's ready to hop in despite broken ribs.

She comes out unscathed to the same Chinese restaurant Boo went to the week before, and Melanie's dad gives her crap for being late.  They are having dinner with Blondey and her mother, who orders a "Gay Marine" and then settles for white wine.  Blondey's mom is hung up on the new relationship and bitches about it.  Melanie lies about her Roller Derby some more, and Blondey just wants her texts to be answered.

Sutton walks into the Oyster Bar and her Casablanca joke bombs so she just hands over a tax return wrapped DVD of Finding Nemo as a gift to Godot.  He knows about the ocean, and she likes talking about fish.  Speaking of that, she read his thesis online.  She didn't really understand it.  But he still likes her.

Godot is walking her home, when she finds her brother sitting on her front porch.  Godot bows out because that much ignorance depresses him, and Sutton invites her brother in.  Apparently he keeps fleeing his own wedding to different girls, but Sutton doesn't mind because the leftover cake is great.

 Sutton is on the phone with Mandy, the new ex-wife, trying to get her brother's stuff back.  It's a success, so Sutton goes in to ballet, where all of Boo's brothers, one named Beaver, is interrupting class.  Carl comes in for a moment to get them.  I'm not really sure what the point of all that was.

Oyster Bar, Carl and Boo are playing parents again.  Sutton and Sutton's brother get drunk.  Later she can't remember if she paid, but apparently she's found her ukelele, so everything is good.  They reminisce.  He decides to become an astronaut.

ROLLER DERBY!  Melanie gets through the scare tactics and puts in her mouth guard, and falls down.  But she gets back up, and that's the most important thing.  At ballet, Cossette, aka SYTYCD girl tells Melanie she needs a roller derby name if she's going to join the team. 

Blondey is freaking out about her mom, when Hipster guy compliments her and throws her off.  Sutton's brother watches the class.  During toe shoe time, he tells a story about how Sutton tried to cut a hole in the floor of her dance class in order to kill her teacher.  Sutton isn't amused this story is being told.

The wonder twins give Melanie "CleoSmacktra" as a name, and Boo and Carl fight about the kids.  Boo loses her shit on Jordan, then answers her phone where Blondey is upset that Melanie is out smacking around other girls.  Boo tells her to call Melanie's brother.

Blondey comes to Derby Dolls covered in punch, and Melanie explains that she needed a derby outlet.  Blondey doesn't care, she just yells at Cossette and storms off.  The other derby girls wonder if she'll join the team with all that rage.

Sutton is upset that she's being under-minded by her brother, and they fight.  There is a lot of stuff in this fight, including her not graduating.  She goes home to play her ukele, and her brother follows shortly behind.  They sing a song together.  Sutton is singing!  Woohoo!

We end on Jordan needing a banana after dancing and yelling at himself.  It's funnier than it sounds.

Next week: road trip and burning man jokes.

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