Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Bunheads; No One Takes Kahleesi's Dragons

Wow, these titles are getting more and more obscure.  This sounds like a Game of Throne's Reference.  I hope I'm right about that.

Sutton is in line waiting for coffee, trying to make nice to the locals.  They are reading and having none of her crap.  Bach, or Sebastian, or Kirk from Gilmore Girls, is a barista of the highest caliber.  The entire town has taken to reading great novels whilst in line here, and Sutton has to read the kid behind her's trig homework to keep occupied.  Also, the level of how much this is written exactly like Gilmore Girl's is annoyingly apparent in this scene.  I watched every episode of GG, and not by choice.

New scene, no coffee, but Sutton has lost her phone and is looking for it in the studio while Fanny is killing all the ballet dancers, making them do jetes over and over again for hours.  She tells Sutton to do one as an example, and then told her she was awful.  Who didn't see that one coming?  Sutton brings up that her friend is touring Follies and they had a pack that if anyone made it they would help the other.  After a typical fight about that, she finds her phone and calls him.  And just like at Luke's, Fanny makes her take the call outside.

She's explaining her inside joke to the person taking the message for her friend and runs into the nameless bunheads who are hiding in the bushes to escape Fanny.  Boo goes off to work and Blonde bunhead tries to avoid other bunhead's brother, the one who Boo likes.  Eventually I guess I'm going to need to learn names.

Sasha swings in on Boo's 15 minute break with the rest of the bunheads to gloat about cheerleading and her "secret sister" and older girl that surprises her with presents, and laughs at a text.  I'm very creeped out by it.  Cheerleader Sasha better GTFO by the end of this episode.

Sutton is in line for coffee again, leaving another message for her "friend" which makes me think that it's a one night stand.  She throws her phone in her purse, and then it rings again and she searches for the phone, knocking everything on the counter over in the processing, upsetting Kirk the only way that quirky Kirk can be upset.  Everyone is pissed because now they have to wait decades longer for their coffee.  The phone call is Fanny telling her to open the studio.  It's a small town, I don't understand why she even locks it in the first place.

Sutton comes to open the studio and finds that Truly has already opened it.  Of course she gets "hyperbolic" according to Truly, and she goes off to burn candles and bring flowers for Fanny.  In the meantime Boo tells Sutton to get out because she likes JewBoy and wants alone time with him.  He obviously doesn't want alone time, he's been burned from last week and just wants to get to work.

Later Fanny is kicking out a ballerina from Clara (Nutcracker) try outs when Sutton comes in with pictures of her and her friend who won't call her back anymore.  Fanny looks and says she "looked" pretty.  Fanny projects about her casting woes and she tells her to talk to Sasha.  Instead she tries out a boy and Sutton calls "Richard" back and is so upset by the fact that he won't call her back that she says forget about calling her back, but he does owe her for a trip they took to Martha's Vineyard back in the day.

Sutton walks into an empty coffeeshop and exclaims with joy, but finds out that Kirk is still butthurt and is going to make her wait.  She yells at him and he says that he knows sometimes he takes things too seriously.  Then he continues to take his time.  She makes a great joke about Starbucks in the new supermarket opening and storms out.

Cue Sutton teaching her tap class, and Rosie or whatever her name is, the mechanic from GG, informs Sutton and Boo that the supermarket is not opening, they got them on a zoning technicality.  Rude.  Sutton decides to "fight the good fight" and make that supermarket open, because she needs Starbucks badly.

Paradise High School, cheerleaders.  Sasha is wearing high pigtails and sad that her friends showed up.  She also gets yelled at for standing out, and that just hurts.  She actually says she'll try to be more mediocre.  Blondey tries to avoid Brunette's brother, but Boo bails to go hit on her crush.  Blondey falls into the crowd trying to get away. 

Finally Sasha loses it on the cheerleaders because they wanted to do a Victory Cheer when they have no hope of winning.  Boo strikes out with Crush, and it looks like they are losing all over.  Well, except for self-important Sasha.

Sutton walks into the Oyster Bar to spread fliers for the supermarket thing.  She leaves fliers with beach bum that was nice to Boo when she first started working there, and I feel like there's a little romantic spark happening between them. 

Nameless bunheads are sleeping over, and Blondey is freaking out over Charlie (retained it!  That's the brother that Boo used to like).  Brunette bunhead calls shenanigans and tells her it's "brah" code that she can't have a relationship with him because Boo likes him.  I'm pretty sure Boo won't mind about now, but they don't know that.

The meeting starts, and everyone is expecting something different.  Michelle drops the supermarket bomb.  She makes fun of Joe's Market, and Joe takes offense.  She cuts to the chase and reveals that it's all about the coffee, and tells them they are scared of progress. 

Boo sneaks off with CrushBoy and reveals that she wants to be more than just dance partners, and he goes for the kiss right away.  Nameless bunheads comes in and they start talking loudly about Charlie, which starts a fight, which makes "Shorty McShorterson" fly the coup.  Boo realizes she's an idiot.

After the meeting Surfer Dude is helping Sutton clean up and they talk about the romantic tension in the room. He tells her that she needs to surf.  She refuses, and shuts him down because he's a newborn and she's older than science.

Sutton goes to visit Sasha in her cheerleader attire.  Sasha bitches about home life, and Sutton says her family life was like a Tennessee Williams play, but without all the happy endings.  I'm guessing she relied on the kindness of strangers a bunch.  She tells Sasha she only has a few more years at home, and suck it up and go back to ballet.  Then they make fun of the cheerleaders some more, which is funny.  Sutton heads back home, and someone got her a coffee maker.  She hugs it and goes inside.

Next time; Summer Finale!  It Will.  Change.  Everything.  I have to wonder if the ABC Family guy just hates uttering those words, or if he only recorded it once and they just shoehorn it in whenever they can.

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