Thursday, April 18, 2013

The article that made me say "I'm done with Vegas Seven"

A Facebook friend posted an article from Vegas Seven the other day titled "100 Things Every Las Vegan Should Know."  It starts out so promising;

There are millions of facts about this town that are nice to know, but we’ve reduced it down to the 100 that you should know if you’re going to live here longer than a few weekends a year. Read them, internalize them, and see if they don’t make you feel a little more attached to this place than you did when you came in.
 I geared up for what seemed like a great article.  But then number one was about how far away Reno was.  I know people who grew up in Vegas who have no idea how far away Reno is.  For all they know it's on the other side of Mt. Charleston.  They don't care.  They don't need to care.  It is not something that anyone really needs to know to get by in Vegas.

It goes downhill from there, with number 10 being about ragweed allergies.  You only have to be in town a week before you realize your allergies here are worse than anywhere else on the planet.  It's amazing anything grows here that you'd be allergic to, but it's a Las Vegas Miracle!

Number 17 is "We actually like our heat dry, so go roll your eyes someplace else. Try Orlando."  Apparently, the Vegas Seven Staff speaks for everyone.  Not only do they think you should know everything in their article, but they also want to tell you how to think you like your heat.  A little water in the air never hurt anyone, and a lot of people might just need to know that the lack of humidity could end in a lot of medical problems.  #1 on this list would be "You need to drink more water than you think."

Number 27 talks about how awesome it is that we have cheap, yet admittedly awful, transportation.  That's like saying that supermarket sushi is going to make you sick, but at least it was only $7.00 to get sick.

There are a lot of history points they cover that I never knew, but also doesn't have any relevancy to living in Las Vegas now.  It's not really the type of place where history is going to repeat itself.  Unless you count blowing up casinos and rebuilding.  I'm not sure that's going to stop.

 The very last one is that Reno sucks.  I really wish that the coward had put their name on this article, because I'd really like to ask them if they have ever even visited Reno.  I'd like to know exactly what sucked about it.  Was it the beautiful mountains and Lake Tahoe, where you can beach it in the summer and have some of the best skiing in the winter?  Is it the fact that they have a local community and culture, and it's not difficult to make friends?  If this is a UNLV/UNR issue, then we have a longstanding history of hating each other, however we are still all Nevadans. We need to stick together and support each other, not cut each other down.

The Five Things You Really Need to Know about Living in Vegas In This Century:

1. Your eyesight will decline rapidly due to the harsh sunlight and the rays reflecting off of everything.  Always wear your sunglasses with UV protection.  Even then you are doomed.

2. Welcome to dehydration.  Your skin, hair, everything is going to be dry.  Embrace taking a water bottle full of filtered water everywhere you go, even in the winter.   Don't drink from the tap, that stuff is terrible.

3. Learn to love the Strip.  A lot of people live here and take pride in the fact that they never go down to the Strip.  It is a marvel and we are lucky to live so close to it, for however long you choose to stay.  In my opinion, that's like living in Hawaii and taking pride in never going to the beach or learning how to surf.  Move to a farm in Ohio if you don't care about that stuff.  Why are you here?

4. It's going to be very difficult to make friends here.  I will give Vegas Seven that this was number 71 on the list.  People learn quickly that it sucks and they move.  They are very flaky because they always feel something more exciting will come along later, so don't be surprised when they want to go to midnight bowling and then don't show up.  If you can't beat them, join them.  Have backup plans ready every Saturday.

5. The Goodmans are the most fun you are going to have with politics.  Enjoy it while they are still in office.
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