Thursday, April 21, 2011

Real World Recap: Cooke Stirs the Pot #RealWorld

Last week Adam got kicked out of HRH for being motherfucking insane...and also destroying property.  This week a new roommate arrives in the form of Heather Cooke, who is just going by Cooke because for fucks sake we can't have double names again.  (Adam's first name is actually Michael, thus making it two Mikes in the house, and we couldn't have that, so hence the "Cooke" monkier.  Also Nany's real name is Naomi too, so...yeah, clusterfuck.)

From her audition tape, all we really know before Cooke walks into the house is that she loves soccer and is pretty much those girls that are sort of self-conscious, so they cover it up by being a total bitch.  But only time will tell on that one.

Cooke walks in and greets the other roommates.  Leroy is already looking to mack, the girls are pissed, and Cooke is making eyes for Dustin already.  She's also disappointed that Heather and Dustin are hooking up.  Dustin tries to switch rooms with some of the guys so that Heather doesn't get pissed with Cooke...Mike and Leroy say nope, they are BFFs and they aren't moving.

Naomi calls Adam and gives him the low down on Cooke.  He says shes gonna calls drama.  This makes Nany freak a little bit, and she talks to Naomi about it over a smoke (GIRLS, knock it off!  No smoking, live a long life instead!)

At Pink Taco, Cooke makes "nice" by saying she doesn't like girls at all in front of Naomi and Nany (and Mike).  She also states she wants to break up Heather and Dustin.  Naomi and Nany of course tell Heather, and she seems more confused than mad.  Cooke talks all kinds of shit to a friend back home on the phone.

Cooke starts in on flirting with Dustin while trying to move his clothes out of the closet.  She VOs that she and Dustin have a connection, while it kinda looks like Dustin just got a bad case of constipation.  Heather talks to Leroy and Mike about it, and Mike says he doesn't think much of Dustin and Heather should really watch out.  Have I mentioned lately how much I love Mike?  Like, for real?  Also, Heather...just have really loud sex with Dustin in his bed for a week.  It'll all work out.

Instead Heather talks to Dustin about how she wants everything to go away and them all to get along.  She says what Mike said, and of course Dustin gets all sorts of pissy and goes and talks to Mike.  Leroy and Mike say that Dustin has changed since this all started, and got cranky.  Dustin says not to befriend him (to Mike), and Mike says that since week 3 he's never considered Dustin a friend.  Yeouch.  Also, love you Mike.

Cooke tries to get Dustin to come out to Moon at Palms for her first night out partying with everyone.  Dustin, being the immature sissypants that he is, decides to stay home instead.  No worries bro, I did the same thing when my feelings got hurt at an out of town high school swim meet.  Only, I was 15 at the time, and you are like, 23.  Maybe it's time to man up, no?

At Moon, Cooke cozies up to Leroy and says she's working on nailing Dustin, and not to tell anyone.  He's like, fine, mostly I think because he's drunk and he won't remember anyway.  The girls see them together and tempers start flaring again.  Naomi is the first one to crack and say that she really can't handle much more of this elitist bullshit from Cooke, and I'm with her all the way.  Heather feels like Cooke is "not considerate."

The next morning Cooke goes to confessional and talks about how she's trying to fit in.  Heather approaches Cooke and asks her how long she's been playing soccer.  Without looking up she answers in short, clipped sentences.

Later on Cooke asks if she can borrow one of Leroy's shirts.  Dustin wants to know what kind of tone she's setting by wearing another guys shirt to the gym.  Meanwhile at the gym Leroy remembers the drunk conversation and is still okay with Cooke despite the fact that she wants to break Heather and Dustin up.  Naomi is also getting pissed about the shirt, and makes a fair point about how athletic clothing is all that the girl wears and there's no need to borrow Leroy's shirt. 

Leroy, Mike, and Cooke go to Fremont Street, and of plug Subway while they are there.  Leroy talks about his childhood, and it's pretty rough.  Of course Cooke brings it back to not getting along with the girls.  But then they ride the zipline and all is good.  Back at the suite the girls are mad that 1. Cooke is a bitch, and 2. Mike and Leroy took her on as one of the guys.

At the club, a mistaken hand gesture sends the girls into a dizzy, and at this is where I have to part company from the rest of the girls.  I know emotions are running high, but girls...wait until you get back to the room and calmly talk about it.  Dustin starts MORE shit by saying that the whole reason Naomi was having a problem with Cooke is because of Leroy.  Leroy hears this, and is done with Naomi.

The girls are drunk, and come home after Cooke has gone to bed.  Naomi unceremoniously wakes up Cooke and tells her to get outside because they are talking about her and well....I guess she has to defend herself or something.  Cooke refuses, so Naomi launches into the problems from the beginning.  Naomi brings up the Pink Taco lunch where Cooke said she was going to break up Dustin and Heather.  Cooke turns to Dustin and asks "Are you mad?"  Like that's the only thing that matters right now.  Naomi obviously agrees with me and escalates the yelling and gets in Cooke's face.  Cooke seems to be handling it okay herself, but of course Hero Complex Dustin gets inbetween them, throws Naomi onto the next bed, and tells her she "knows better."

He just keeps sliding farther down my list, I swear.  Now he has taken physical action against a girl, where none needed to be taken.  Naomi didn't act like she was going to hit Cooke, although it was heated.  So, basically, the violence that he wanted to keep the girls from last week, he is now CAUSING this week.  BTW, producers, shouldn't he get kicked out for laying a hand on another cast mate???  Did that rule just fly out the window this season or what?

Nany is pretty drunk and is yelling also, and it's a crazy fight.  Cooke gets out of bed and goes into the living room, still sort of not believing what is going on.  She was crying at the club, but she seems pretty stone faced now.  She goes into Mike and Leroy's room.  Mike says they had it out for her from the beginning, and sweetie, you are NOT helping.  She started shit from the moment she walked in, and the girls reacted.  Dustin is still spreading that Naomi is mad at her because Leroy wants to hit that.  Which, no, I don't think so.  I think she's mad FOR Heather.

Heather and Dustin have a convo in the bathroom and Heather makes the point that Cooke never tried to get to know them, which is true.  Dustin tries to mend fences with Cooke and the girls, but the girls are having none of it.  Cooke says she just doesn't want to deal with it.  I have a great idea Cooke...move out.  You don't have to take this.  Just go.  Now.  By the next commercial break.

Heather apologizes to Cooke, and they seem to work it out, and Heather is willing to give her a shot.  Heather interviews that she's still going after Dustin though, and she gets what she wants.

Next time; Adam is back, there is girl kissing action, another Mike/Dustin showdown, and apparently a lot less Cooke.  Maybe she takes my advice?  Only time will tell!
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