Things They Don't Tell You About Moving To Vegas: You'll Forget What Dark Looks Like

Little things are still trickling in about how different Vegas is from anywhere else.  Recently I was driving home and realized how dark it was.  There are no streetlights in my neighborhood, and for the first time I had to turn on the brights in my car.

I forgot how dark the world could get.  Once there was supposed to be a meteor shower, and we drove out over two hours into the desert to see it.  We couldn't see anything.

I had blackout curtains and considered actually covering up my windows in the bedroom with tin foil like it was Alaska in the summer time.  I never got very good sleep because I could never get it dark enough to get that whole melatonin going.

What They Don't Tell You About Moving to Las Vegas: Your Priorities Change

Some things you only notice once you have left.  Just before Christmas I actually moved out of Las Vegas and back to my hometown of Reno.  Being back here for a little bit has made me realize more of the changes that I made to myself during my 10 year Vegas run.

When I left for Vegas I was very strict about relationships.  If someone cheated, it was OVER.  No talking about it, nothing.  It was just over.  Pack your bag, get out of the house, get a divorce, even if you have been married for decades.  After a couple of years in Vegas, I didn't feel like that anymore.  Everyone gets away with so much that you get used to it after awhile.

I also completely lost my patience for waiting in lines.  I was a local, and if I had to wait in a line for more than a few minutes I was 110% done with that club.  I never even saw the inside of Rok Vegas because they had the nerve to keep my friends and I waiting for almost an hour because Katy Perry was there.  We were super pissed off, and never actually bought anything at New York New York ever again.

You are more willing to take chances you normally wouldn't, because you don't get into as much trouble.  There is a lot of drinking that I would have never done if I moved to another town.  There are a lot of bad priorities you fall into that you never think about until you have left.  I'm just learning about all my bad habits here, and I'm sure I'll come up with more and post when I do.

Things They Don't Tell You About Moving to Las Vegas: The Produce Is Terrible

This was something I didn't realize until I had started to go to the Molto Vegas/Bet On the Farm Farmer's Market, but the regular grocery stores produce is from the VERY back of the truck.  You will sometimes be able to find something "okay" at Winco or Smiths, but for the most part if you are going to a traditional store, then give up on finding anything decent. Sure, it all looks fine...but the taste is just not there. 

Don't worry, not all hope is lost!  If you can't make it to Bet On The Farm, do yourself a favor and either sign up for Winder Farms (the taste of the milk alone is worth it) and get the produce basket, or take a little trip out to Gilcrease Orchard (the taste of the apple cider alone is worth it).

Your diet will thank you.

Things They Don't Tell You About Moving to Vegas: Your Clothing Style Changes

Winter is just long enough that you feel like you could never imagine how hot Summer is.  Summer is just long enough that you think that Winter just doesn't exist.  This vastly alters the way you shop for clothing.

I'm not talking about the way that you think about clothing, although that is a part of it.  Slutty now has to go way further for you to consider it slutty.  In fact, you could wear the above picture to church and I'm sure no one would bat an eye.

You start buying items with less weight to them without really noticing.  Suddenly your closet is filled with items that you wouldn't pay $10 for.  Items that would render you feeling absolutely naked in any other place.

If you go to a place with cooler temps, you'll over compensate and have nothing for the weather you actually have once you get there.

What They Don't Tell You About Vegas: Transportation

Basically it is bad.

This will be the only time that I will say that Google Maps is totally incorrect.  If it says that public transportation will take an hour, tack on three more hours and you'll have an idea of how long it will take to get there.  Vegas is bigger than you think it is, and it takes forever to get anywhere.   One time my friend took public transportation home; She traveled 14 miles in 4 hours.  I'm dead serious.

Everything is so far away, walking is just not an option.  When it is, you are better off just driving due to the weather.  Either it is too hot, or people just assume that you are homeless.  Unless you are hanging out in a park smelling good, just don't spend time outside.  The only time I've walked around anywhere, it was just me and homeless people. It was so awkward that I never wanted to walk anywhere again.  In fact when I was back home and someone suggested walking somewhere, I almost said "We aren't homeless, why would we walk?"

This is how out of touch Vegas makes you sometimes.

Things They Don't Tell You About Las Vegas: Free Parking

Not only free valet (if you don't count tipping), but free self parking nearly everywhere.  Even downtown if you park in a lot owned by a casino, most of them will have a place to validate it inside that casino.

Quick story: I've lived in the state all my life, and so I'm flabbergasted every time I'm faced with paying for parking.  In recent years it's even tacked onto hotel charges in LA, which I think is so stupid.

About 6 years ago I went on a crazy day trip to LA with some friends.  We went to Santa Monica and paid to park in a parking garage.  About $10, but because it was a touristy area I just accepted it and we went about our day.  Later on that evening we were meeting a friend in Hollywood, and we drove around for what seemed like forever until we found a place to park.  It stated it was valet, so I drove up and started to get out of the car.  The guy stopped me, then pointed me towards the back of the super tiny garage and told me to park it myself.  I parked it, then he said that no, I had to back it in.

Y'all, I'm not good at backing anything in, let alone my friend's car that I wasn't used to driving.  We made it work though, and finally got out of the car 100 years later.  Then the valet said "Okay, now I need $20 and the keys to the car."

LA People, help me understand the logic in this.  I had to park my own the car the way that HE wanted it parked, and now he was what, robbing us?  Did he even work there?  That is totally bullshit.  I told him to go screw himself, and we parked in a residential area and just prayed that we didn't get a ticket.  We didn't.

How the story would have gone in Vegas: We parked, we partied, we left happy.  We didn't walk up any hills to get there, and everything went well.  Put away your money and park your car for free here.

What They Don't Tell You About Vegas: Radio Stations

According to Wikipedia, Las Vegas has 25 radio stations.  When I first moved here 10 years ago, I went through the radio stations in my car to find the ones that I could set up as presets.  I went around three times without setting up a single one.

Our radio stations suck.  I got SiriusXM the next week.  I never looked back, and it has always been worth the money.  Get Spotify, Pandora, whatever you can....because the radio stations here are terrible.

What They Don't Tell You About Vegas: How Awesome Being a 24/7 Town Is

Yes, I'm sure that you know that Las Vegas is a 24 hour town.  But, do you really know?  Have you ever gone food shopping at Winco at 4 o'clock in the morning?  Had a nice sit-down meal?  Called a Locksmith?  Had a drink at a bar?  Gotten married?

It's glorious.  We have a 24 hour Starbucks, AutoZone Auto parts store, and so much more.  My favorite Vegas moment was finding out that if you go to the LVAC on Eastern and the 215 at 3:00 AM, you'll run into a LOT of strippers.  True Story.  You'll love the freedom that comes with grocery shopping in the middle of the night.

What They Don't Tell You About Vegas: What Bugs?

I had been living in Las Vegas for around 6 or 7 years when I realized that not every parking lot had a broken sprinkler problem.  I guess I had been living my whole life thinking that cicadas didn't exist because I never saw them.

If you have no clue what I'm talking about, watch this video.  I seriously thought this noise was air escaping out of a broken sprinkler head.  Nope, when it gets hot cicadas get chatty here in Vegas.  Although, to this day I still don't think I've ever seen one in person.

Occasionally a fly will get into a restaurant and ruin your meal.  Sometimes you don't spray well enough and you find the cat playing with an almost dead cockroach on your floor.  I had never seen a cockroach before moving here, and although they are a little too quick for my taste, they aren't as bad as a mouse.  They are small enough to squish and go about your day, and not creepy crawly like spiders are.

All this bug talk aside, Vegas is too dry to really support a real bug and vermin population.  There are no mosquitoes, mice, or rats.  You hardly ever run into a bee or fly.  It's something that is so awesome, that you almost forget until you go back home to visit.

A friend of a friend went to a weekend trip to Montana for a wedding.  When asked how it went, he pulled up his shirt to reveal that he was totally covered in bug bites, swollen from the waist up.

Say what you will about how crappy Vegas is, but our lack of bugs is pretty freaking awesome.

What They Don't Tell You About Vegas: Traffic and Cars

Las Vegas is a very transient town. People come and go, bringing their experiences and driving habits with them.  When you take driving habits from all over the country and put it together with non-stop construction, you get some of the worst traffic issues in the country.

It's not that you have to be in traffic for hours like LA, but you might get stuck for an hour on the freeway between two exits at 9:30 at night.  That delay could be due to construction, a tiny accident, or literally nothing at all.

I took this photo as a passenger a few weeks ago.  This is one lane of traffic.  People go wherever they want.  The one on the right did not turn right at the next street.  They all just kept on going, trying to outrun each other until they reached the part where the street narrows and they couldn't do this anymore.  There are these type of streets all over Vegas, and I've seen people run other people off the road to be the first.


It's also a very dry climate, so when you are on the freeway you will get a lot of cracks on your windshield from larger vehicles.  They'll range from ones you hear but can't see to ones that might take out your entire windshield.

Good news though!  Most car insurance will cover the repairs, which only take minutes and sometimes are available at car washes.  Take care of them at least once a month, because it will add up quickly and then you are stuck paying for a brand new one.  It's also a good idea, while you are here, to have full coverage on your insurance. 

Technically you aren't a local until you've gotten into a car accident.

Drive like you are in NASCAR and take care of those windshield dings, and you'll be just fine.

What They Don't Tell You About Vegas: Hard Water

As I come upon my 10 year anniversary of living in Las Vegas, I feel there are many good and bad things to share.  One of the things they don't tell you that is bad is the hard water situation.

The Las Vegas Water District doesn't find anything wrong with the hard water situation.  However, it does have a huge impact on how you live day to day.

First of all, it tastes so horrible it will send you running straight to the bottled water in the nearest store.  You will get a Brita pitcher and think all your problems are solved.  You don't stop to think about how much you use the water out of the tap and how the hard water stains are starting to ruin your life.  Your Kerig machine stops working, and your glass shower door looks terrible.  Your hair looks pretty bad too, and you spend more time in the shower on vacation just to get good hair days again.

Some people do the insane thing and get a water softener for their house, which is bananas expensive.  I'm not even sure if they work, if someone knows I'd be happy to hear from them.  I can't imagine it being worth the cost.

If I was starting all over to decide to move here, I wish someone would have told me about the hard water situation.