Things They Don't Tell You About Moving To Vegas: You'll Forget What Dark Looks Like

Little things are still trickling in about how different Vegas is from anywhere else.  Recently I was driving home and realized how dark it was.  There are no streetlights in my neighborhood, and for the first time I had to turn on the brights in my car.

I forgot how dark the world could get.  Once there was supposed to be a meteor shower, and we drove out over two hours into the desert to see it.  We couldn't see anything.

I had blackout curtains and considered actually covering up my windows in the bedroom with tin foil like it was Alaska in the summer time.  I never got very good sleep because I could never get it dark enough to get that whole melatonin going.

What They Don't Tell You About Moving to Las Vegas: Your Priorities Change

Some things you only notice once you have left.  Just before Christmas I actually moved out of Las Vegas and back to my hometown of Reno.  Being back here for a little bit has made me realize more of the changes that I made to myself during my 10 year Vegas run.

When I left for Vegas I was very strict about relationships.  If someone cheated, it was OVER.  No talking about it, nothing.  It was just over.  Pack your bag, get out of the house, get a divorce, even if you have been married for decades.  After a couple of years in Vegas, I didn't feel like that anymore.  Everyone gets away with so much that you get used to it after awhile.

I also completely lost my patience for waiting in lines.  I was a local, and if I had to wait in a line for more than a few minutes I was 110% done with that club.  I never even saw the inside of Rok Vegas because they had the nerve to keep my friends and I waiting for almost an hour because Katy Perry was there.  We were super pissed off, and never actually bought anything at New York New York ever again.

You are more willing to take chances you normally wouldn't, because you don't get into as much trouble.  There is a lot of drinking that I would have never done if I moved to another town.  There are a lot of bad priorities you fall into that you never think about until you have left.  I'm just learning about all my bad habits here, and I'm sure I'll come up with more and post when I do.

Things They Don't Tell You About Moving to Las Vegas: The Produce Is Terrible

This was something I didn't realize until I had started to go to the Molto Vegas/Bet On the Farm Farmer's Market, but the regular grocery stores produce is from the VERY back of the truck.  You will sometimes be able to find something "okay" at Winco or Smiths, but for the most part if you are going to a traditional store, then give up on finding anything decent. Sure, it all looks fine...but the taste is just not there. 

Don't worry, not all hope is lost!  If you can't make it to Bet On The Farm, do yourself a favor and either sign up for Winder Farms (the taste of the milk alone is worth it) and get the produce basket, or take a little trip out to Gilcrease Orchard (the taste of the apple cider alone is worth it).

Your diet will thank you.

Things They Don't Tell You About Moving to Vegas: Your Clothing Style Changes

Winter is just long enough that you feel like you could never imagine how hot Summer is.  Summer is just long enough that you think that Winter just doesn't exist.  This vastly alters the way you shop for clothing.

I'm not talking about the way that you think about clothing, although that is a part of it.  Slutty now has to go way further for you to consider it slutty.  In fact, you could wear the above picture to church and I'm sure no one would bat an eye.

You start buying items with less weight to them without really noticing.  Suddenly your closet is filled with items that you wouldn't pay $10 for.  Items that would render you feeling absolutely naked in any other place.

If you go to a place with cooler temps, you'll over compensate and have nothing for the weather you actually have once you get there.

What They Don't Tell You About Vegas: Transportation

Basically it is bad.

This will be the only time that I will say that Google Maps is totally incorrect.  If it says that public transportation will take an hour, tack on three more hours and you'll have an idea of how long it will take to get there.  Vegas is bigger than you think it is, and it takes forever to get anywhere.   One time my friend took public transportation home; She traveled 14 miles in 4 hours.  I'm dead serious.

Everything is so far away, walking is just not an option.  When it is, you are better off just driving due to the weather.  Either it is too hot, or people just assume that you are homeless.  Unless you are hanging out in a park smelling good, just don't spend time outside.  The only time I've walked around anywhere, it was just me and homeless people. It was so awkward that I never wanted to walk anywhere again.  In fact when I was back home and someone suggested walking somewhere, I almost said "We aren't homeless, why would we walk?"

This is how out of touch Vegas makes you sometimes.

Things They Don't Tell You About Las Vegas: Free Parking

Not only free valet (if you don't count tipping), but free self parking nearly everywhere.  Even downtown if you park in a lot owned by a casino, most of them will have a place to validate it inside that casino.

Quick story: I've lived in the state all my life, and so I'm flabbergasted every time I'm faced with paying for parking.  In recent years it's even tacked onto hotel charges in LA, which I think is so stupid.

About 6 years ago I went on a crazy day trip to LA with some friends.  We went to Santa Monica and paid to park in a parking garage.  About $10, but because it was a touristy area I just accepted it and we went about our day.  Later on that evening we were meeting a friend in Hollywood, and we drove around for what seemed like forever until we found a place to park.  It stated it was valet, so I drove up and started to get out of the car.  The guy stopped me, then pointed me towards the back of the super tiny garage and told me to park it myself.  I parked it, then he said that no, I had to back it in.

Y'all, I'm not good at backing anything in, let alone my friend's car that I wasn't used to driving.  We made it work though, and finally got out of the car 100 years later.  Then the valet said "Okay, now I need $20 and the keys to the car."

LA People, help me understand the logic in this.  I had to park my own the car the way that HE wanted it parked, and now he was what, robbing us?  Did he even work there?  That is totally bullshit.  I told him to go screw himself, and we parked in a residential area and just prayed that we didn't get a ticket.  We didn't.

How the story would have gone in Vegas: We parked, we partied, we left happy.  We didn't walk up any hills to get there, and everything went well.  Put away your money and park your car for free here.

What They Don't Tell You About Vegas: Radio Stations

According to Wikipedia, Las Vegas has 25 radio stations.  When I first moved here 10 years ago, I went through the radio stations in my car to find the ones that I could set up as presets.  I went around three times without setting up a single one.

Our radio stations suck.  I got SiriusXM the next week.  I never looked back, and it has always been worth the money.  Get Spotify, Pandora, whatever you can....because the radio stations here are terrible.